Life Doesn't Always Go As Planned
by LoveandLearn
Summary: There was a plan that Derek and Addison made when they got together. Let's just say that things don't always work out as we expected them too. There are decisions that need to be made, and the right choice isn't always the best choice.
1. Chapter 1

"Why are you all smiley and happy?" Meredith asked when she saw Derek walk in to the OR with a huge smile on his face. He grabbed the towel from a scrub nurse and dried his hands. After putting on all the surgical wear, he approached the table and looked over his patient's vitals. "I doubt a craniotomy has got you this happy, you do like three a day. It's nothing for you now."

"Addison left." He explained after making the opening incision. "She gave me divorce papers, asked me to sign them and Fed-Ex them to her so she can give them to our attorney and she left."

"Oh." Meredith replied, her lips curling up slowly into a grin which she knew her mask would hide. "So now what?"

Derek diverted his eyes for a second. "I'm not sure." He admitted. "I never really saw this coming so I don't have a plan. I guess we'll have to take it as it goes."

Just as Meredith was about the reply, she was cut off my a nurse who was holding Derek's pager. "Dr. Shepherd, the ER is paging you. They say it can't wait and that they need you there right now."

"I'm kind of busy." Derek replied as he looked up from his patient's brain. "Meredith, can you go see what they need?" he asked.

"No, Dr. Shepherd, you don't understand. They don't need a consult." The woman explained with hesitation. She took a deep breath before saying, "It's about your wife. She uh…was mugged. A cab driver brought her in. He says she had called for a cab to take her to the airport and when he got there, he saw her lying on the floor with two guys. One was beating her and holding her down, the other was looking through her purse. When he pulled over, they took off."

Derek felt his usually steady hand start to shake. He turned to Meredith, wordless begging her to take over. Meredith eagerly agreed, promising to be careful so she wouldn't kill the patient. He took his time getting to the ER, not because he didn't think it was urgent but because he was too numb to run. Once he got there, he looked around only to find that the woman he was looking for wasn't there.

"Are you here for Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd, Dr. Shepherd?" a young nurse asked him.

He nodded his head mechanically because he was in too much shock to speak. "They took her up to the ICU. Dr. Webber was looking for you, he's in charge of her case."

Without response, Derek took off toward the ICU. He was directed to her room without even having to asked and walked in to see her blood stained body lying in a bed. She was paler than he remembered her to be, she looked the opposite of the undefeated epitome of strength he thought she was. "What's wrong with her?" he asked the nurse who was making notes in her chart.

"She was mugged." The older woman explained.

"I know that!" he exclaimed. "I mean…what's wrong with her right now? Why isn't she awake? What's going on with her?"

"She's in a coma, Derek." Richard answered from the door and relieved the nurse from having to be the one to tell him. He allowed her to make a quick escape to leave the two men to talk. "..on life support. Her heart is pumping on it's own but we've got her a respirator. She's got minimal brain activity."

"Did she say anything when they brought her in?" Derek asked.

"She hasn't been conscious at all since she came in. A cab driver brought her in. He said she was already passed out by the time he got to her. Apparently, there were two men…"

Derek stopped him before he could go on. "I've already heard the story. I don't need to hear it again." He said quietly. "She gave me divorce papers; she was on her way to the airport to go back to New York. She asked me to wait for her cab with her because she wasn't thrilled about the idea of being alone in the middle of the night in a city she doesn't know but I told her I had more important things to do and that Seattle was the safest place on Earth. I honestly didn't expect something like this to happen."

"I know you two declared your marriage is over… but legally, you're still married which means you are still her next of kin." Richard told him. "You have to decide what happens next."

"I don't know." Derek sighed as he sat down on the chair beside the bed. "This wasn't in the plan, Richard. I was just telling Meredith! Our plan was to get married, finish med school, be kick-ass surgeons, have a kid or two and live happily ever after! I have no idea when the fuck that changed! It wasn't part of the plan for me to start ignoring her, her affair was not in the picture we envisioned…neither was mine for that matter. We never planned a divorce and what we would do after. We never had a plan for what would happen if she fucking got beat in the middle of a fucking alley- or wherever she was- and end up on life support! I don't know what the next step is, I don't have a plan! We never made a plan for this!" he screamed.

"Calm down, Derek." Richard raised his voice over Derek's so he can hear him. "You just need to think about it. Usually in a case like this, I would suggest calling her parents, but I know she wasn't too close to them. She always said you know her better than she knows herself, so think for a little while. What would she want?"

Derek shrugged. "I don't really know." He mumbled. "I don't know because we never talked about this! It wasn't in the plan." He repeated again.

"Okay, well, Derek, as you can tell, things don't always work according to plan!" Richard exclaimed. "You can choose to keep or on life-support, or you can pull the plug. It's up to you."

* * *

Derek paced back and forth in his wife's room. He hesitantly dialed a number into his cell phone and pressed send before holding it against his ear and waiting for an answer. After the second ring, an all too familiar voice picked up with a startled, "Derek?"

"Don't say anything." Derek warned. "I don't know why I called you, I just need someone to talk to and as it turns out, you're my only friend which makes me hate you more than I do for sleeping with my wife."

"Um…okay?" Mark replied skeptically. "What's going on? Is everything okay?"

"No." Derek replied surely. "Everything is not okay."

"What going on?" Mark asked with his voice hinting the slightest bit of concern.

"Addison he was mugged on her way to the airport to fly back to New York. She's on life support right now." He explained. "And I'm so…confused about it all. I thought I don't care about her anymore, Mark. I was so convinced that I don't love her anymore. I mean, she gave my divorce papers and I was so sure it was over between that I was gonna sign them right there and then, in front of her without a second thought. But I figured I needed time to think and she was supposed to come back there. "

"She was mugged? In Seattle? Really? She's lived in New York for all these years, where the crime rate is much higher and she gets mugged there? That's weird." Mark said, using that as the thought to distract him so he could stay strong to support his best friend.

"Exactly! She got mugged and now I'm looking at her and I feel like my whole life is turned upside down. That's not how I would feel if I didn't care about her anymore, right? I obviously feel this way because I still have feelings for her. I mean…she's in a coma and I feel like a part of me is dead."

"Yeah, I think that would suggest that you still have feelings for her." Mark replied distractedly while he tried to keep his mind focused on something that wouldn't cause him to break down into hysterical tears while a gorgeous drunk woman was waiting in his bedroom. "Do you um…want me to come over there? I mean, I would, you know? I'd do that for you and Addison iF you wanted me too."

"I know you would, Mark. And I'm really grateful for that. But I need to be alone. I need to figure this out for myself. I just needed someone to talk to." He answered. "I've got to go, I need to do some thinking." He said quickly.

"Okay, well…keep me posted." Mark replied before Derek managed to hang up.

He sat down on the chair beside her bed and stared at her for a while before losing what little sanity he had left. "What happen to the plan, Addison?" he screamed at his very unconscious wife. "Our story was not supposed to end like this! I don't know what the hell to do! I'm screaming at you and you're like…as close to dead a person can be with a heart that's still beating."

He took a deep breath to calm himself down and cracked his knuckles. "If I decide to end life support, you'll probably die, unless you come out of this coma by some miracle. But my luck sucks so I doubt that would happen. So I have a temptation to just keep you like this, just so I can see you, so I can hold your hand. Would that be too selfish?" he paused. "And I'm talking to you as if have the ability to answer me." He groaned.

* * *

Izzie curiously raised her brow as she dropped off a chart at the nurse's station in the ICU. She stood in front of Meredith to block her view through the window and right into the Shepherd room. She crossed her arms and cleared her throat.

"Didn't we talked about this?" She said. "You have to move on Meredith. I know you're not in love with him anymore but you can't stand here and watch them."

"It's been two weeks." Meredith mumbled. "He hasn't left her side. He just sits there and talks to her as if she can answer him. He talks about their past and he rambles about a 'plan' and how this isn't how it was supposed to be. He still loves her, he thought he didn't but he does."

"They're married, Mer." Izzie pointed out. "We won't understand what that means until we've been married for as long as they have. There is just this…bond or connection or something."

"If the accident never happened, would he have realized that he still had feelings for her or would they fade away and we'd end up together?" Meredith asked, although it was more like she was thinking out loud.

"He loved you too, Meredith. He was going to divorce her, if she wasn't like this, he wouldn't have realized how he felt. It takes losing someone to realize what you'll miss." Izzie replied. "Stop watching it and torturing yourself. Please? It's getting hard to watch."

"Do you think she'll ever wake up?" she asked softly.

Izzie turned her head and glanced into her room. "I don't know."

"It would be messed up if she doesn't. He would have realized it too late; he would never get to tell her. He deserves to be happy. I wouldn't want to see him like this forever."

* * *

"Derek, when was the last time you spent more than an hour outside this room?" Richard asked as he walked in. His tone sounded somewhat harsh, but Derek knew it was only because Richard was concerned about the fact that he no longer had a life.

"Why do I need more than an hour? I can use her bathroom to shower, I moved my closet into my office so I got clothes there… I just need to go out to get food and if I stick to the cafeteria, I don't even have to go far." He explained, proving the fact that he had carefully thought out his current living situation.

"Have you contact her family? Asked them their say in the matter? I know the divorce papers were not signed or filed, which means you do have all the say but you need to tell them, you need to let them know that their daughter is…"

"Say 'dying' and I will kill you in your sleep and you'll never see it coming." Derek threatened then released a heavy sigh. "Sorry, I didn't mean to threaten you. This whole thing has just got me so…off lately. I just need her to wake up so I can go back to being regular Derek and not edgy Derek."

"It's been almost three weeks for you sitting here. You know that the chances of her coming out of this are slim." Richard told him honestly. "If you want to keep her in a permanent vegetative state, you need to have her transferred to a long term care facility, Derek. We need as much room as we can get, and this is the ICU, its critical patients we're talking about."

"So that's what this is about? You want me to pull the plug on my wife so you can have your bed back?" Derek snapped, yelling much louder than he had since the night he heard about the accident. "That's all you care about, Richard?"

"No, Derek! You know that at one point you two became a part of my family. And seeing her like thing hurts me too, Derek but transferring her would be the first step of moving on." He explained.

"I'll think about it." Derek promised half-heartedly because he knew he would never really think about it.

* * *

Another four weeks had gone by and nothing had changed. Derek would still spend close to every minute by the bed, his only release was an occasional phone call to Mark to rant about how much he hated the fact that her condition wouldn't change. He would decline Mark's every offer to visit because it really was something he wanted to deal with alone.

Addison was the first patient Richard would check on every morning, and every morning he would shake his head in a pessimistic manner and walk out. Derek looked up at him that morning and took a deep breath. "You don't have to take her vitals or anything." he started off. "I um…"

"What are you talking about, Derek? Did someone already come in this morning and do that?" Richard asked with a raised brow.

Derek shook his head. "No. I umm… I decided to end life support. Today if possible." He whispered.

"Are you sure?" Richard asked. "I'm not rushing you, Derek. She's your wife, you have a right to want more for her."

"It's been almost two months. Coma patients usually never come back past the first week." Derek replied logically. "I was trying to hold on to something that wasn't there. We…were over a long time ago. She wouldn't still want to be with me if she were awake. She would kick my ass for keeping her in this vulnerable state for all this time."

"Okay." He whispered. "I need you to sign the form and we can turn the machines off as soon as you do that."

"Her lungs may start working on their own once the tube is out…her heart might continue beating. I know it's a small chance but Addison has always defied the odds. I mean, she's under forty, she's a woman and she's the best neonatal surgeon the world has ever seen. Was…" he sighed as he corrected himself. "She broke the stereotype that a good doctor is some old man that's been practicing for decades."

"You're right, she did have a thing for proving everyone wrong." Richard agreed. "I'm not telling you not to believe that, but I'm asking you to prepare yourself if that doesn't happen."

"There is never going to be a right time to do this. And I can't keep her like this much longer." Derek explained. "I'm ready…and even if I'm not I have to be because I don't want to hurt her anymore. I've hurt her enough for one lifetime."

* * *

A matter of hours later, Derek stood there, desperately clutching Addison's hand while Richard disconnected every machine Addison was attached to. The last to be removed was the tube supplying her with oxygen. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest just at the thought that this could be the end.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Richard asked, noticing Derek's hesitance.

Derek nodded, doing his best not to cry in front of his former mentor and current boss. "Ignore me." He mumbled. "This is either going to be the best decision I could make for us." He paused, hoping that she would wake up and that would be the case. "Or it's the worst." He added, cringing at the thought of losing her forever. "Either way, there is no turning back."

Richard nodded and painfully moved his hand over the button to disable the machine. He wasn't sure if he was expecting to hear rhythmic beeping of the cardiac monitor to show her heart working on its own or if he was expecting to hear the high pitch noise indicating that her heart had given out.

Derek was holding her hand so tightly that he assumed she would scream if she could. His eyes were fixed on it heart monitor while Richard's finger was on the button. "Three…" he paused. "Two.."

"I love you, Addison." Derek blurted last second before hearing Richard call 'one' as he pressed the button.

* * *

Yes, I'm leaving it there. Sorry. But cliffhangers are always fun. You get to decide if she wakes up from her coma or if that really was the end.  
I might be talked into writing part two, depends on how heavy school is this week and on what you guys think of this.


	2. Chapter 2

Derek exhaled a sigh of relief when he saw the line on the cardiac monitor spike up and down to show a normal heartbeat. He let go of her hand to wipe away a tear he couldn't hold back then looked at Richard and let out a tense chuckle.

"Are you okay?" Richard asked him.

Derek nodded his head. "Her heart is working on its own, her lungs didn't give out…she's still alive. The machines are all off and she's still alive." he responded. "She's not dead, Richard, she didn't die! I didn't kill her."

Richard nodded his head, laughing slightly at Derek's rambling. "I don't think I've ever seen you this happy." He said to Derek. "I'm sure she'll appreciate the fact that you haven't let go of her hand in two months."

He looked down at her for a few second and looked back up at Richard. "Why isn't she waking up?" he asked the question as if he wasn't a doctor himself and he didn't know how things like this worked. "She's supposed to wake up!"

"It'll take some time, Derek. You know that. It'll take some time before her brain resumes full activety, but she should return to the Addison we know. We'll take her in for a CT in a little while just to make sure it's all okay. And from there on, we need to wait until she's ready to wake up."

Derek groaned and fell back into the chair he had literally been living on for two months. He let out a heavy sigh. "When patients would say that waiting is the hardest part, I would never believe them. "

"I'm gonna go set up a CT. I'll leave you two alone for a while before they have to take her in." Richard said softly right before walking about.

Derek stayed seated. He watched her chest rise and fall with each breath and it gave him a sense of peace. It meant that she was alright. "Okay, so pulling the plug wasn't the worst thing I could have done." He said. "But now I need you to wake up so the last two months of torture we endured would be worth it. I mean…I'm not rushing you or anything. I know it takes time for you to physically recover from this and I'll be right here when you're ready to open your eyes, I just wanted you to know that."

_Derek walked into the off-campus apartment he had leased with his fiancé of officially one week. He saw her sitting on the ground with an array of notebooks in front of her on the coffee table and few calendars beside her. He went to the fridge and debated between a bottle of beer or water. After deciding it's not wise to drink before a lecture, he grabbed the water and went to sit beside her. _

"_What are you doing?" he asked curiously as he peeked at the sheet of paper she was writing on. "Did we have some insanely complicated assignment for this next class involving dates and years? Because if we did than I'm screwed because I didn't even know about it."_

"_No, this isn't for class. The only thing you need to have for class is the paper your attending was supposed to sign."_

"_What paper?" Derek asked. _

"_The one you're supposed to be have every month, Derek. Your evaluation. The clinical rotation counts for a grade, you know that right? You can't graduate on time if you don't complete it." _

"_Oh, that…I have that. I don't know where it is, but I have it somewhere." He replied. "So if this isn't for a class than what the hell is it for?" _

"_It's my plans." She replied simply, as if that was enough to explain it. _

"_Plans?" Derek asked. "What plans? Wedding plans? Because we just got engaged 7 days ago, I did not think you would have time to do this much planning given how busy we've been with classes this week."_

"_It's not wedding plans." She answered._

"_Is that a separate notebook?"_

"_It's actually a binder." She replied and pointed to the opposite end of the table to a simple white binder. If she hadn't told him, he would have thought it was yet another one of her obsessive ways to keep her school work perfectly organized. "I don't have anything in there yet, just a very vague guest list."_

"_So if this isn't wedding plans, what kind of plan is it?" he asked curiously while he continued trying to look over her shoulder to read what she had written. _

"_Life plans." She told him. _

_He looked at her with his brow quirked up. "Life plans?" he repeated. "You're planning our life?"_

_Addison nodded. "I'm obsessive compulsive, Derek. You know that. I always need to know what my next move is going to be." She explained in a very serious tone. "It's in outline form right now, the years and everything aren't really in order yet. But I'll get there when I have more time to think it out."_

"_Will you tell me?" he asked with a small grin. "I mean, I am your fiancé so I assume that I'm involved somewhere in those plans." _

_She looked at him shyly and sighed before giving in. "I want to get married before we graduate so my name on my diploma will have your last name. I'm really hoping we get accepted into the same internship program, I know we only applied to one hospital together but that was the first choice for both of us so I'm hoping we get in. And after our internship is over, I want to go away and get away from it all for the time we get off. Somewhere just me and you…" _

"_I'm liking the sound of it so far." He nodded his head with approval. "What comes after that?"_

"_Well, then we come back to start our residency. I'm planning on applying to a neonatal surgery fellowship, and OB too, probably. I know you wanna apply for neuro. So we can do that and once we finish our fellowships we can slow down and take more time for ourselves. We can start trying for a baby once our practices seem stable." She shrugged. "I've heard that trying is the best part of the whole process." _

_Derek laughed. "I like it, it seems very..." he paused as he tried to come up with the right words to describe it. "…thought through." _

_She nodded her head. "It is. I thought about it all, Derek. I even have a list of obstacles that might come up and listed them on the page before this, the back of that page is possible solutions. And the final version is going to have dates on it, like approximated months and years." _

_He quickly pecked her lips before pushing himself back onto his feet. "I expect a typed copy of the final version on my desk when you've got it done." He told with as much seriousness as he could muster._

"Mark!" Derek exclaimed into the phone from where he stood in the corner of Addison's hospital room. "You busy? Get off of whoever you're on top off and listen, okay?"

"Why do you always assume I'm screwing someone?" Mark asked.

"Well, were you?"

Mark let of a sign of defeat. "Yeah." He mumbled.

"I rest my case." Derek said sarcastically. "I need you to go to the Brownstone. Go in the office, the key for the bottom drawer of my desk should be under the keyboard, unlock it and find a black binder, on the seam it should say 'The Plan.' I need you to get that to me ASAP."

"What's your definition of ASAP? The post-office, Fed-EX and UPS are all closed right now. I can send it out tomorrow morning and have them over-night it but it wouldn't be there until the next morning." He replied logically.

"Then you need to find the binder, get your ass on a the first plane coming here and bring it personally." Derek insisted. I need it by tomorrow morning at the latest."

"What the hell is this binder we're talking about?" Mark asked.

"It's got the plan in there, Mark. Addison wrote it all out in med school, it's disgustingly detailed and it's exactly how she wanted her life to turn out. She thought of every obstacle that may come up, she's got lists of solutions for it all. She's got budgets worked out, life insurance policy numbers, living arrangements… She's even got a list of names in there for our none-existent children."

"Life insurance policies? Why would you need that? Is Addison dead, Derek? Did you pull the plug without telling me?" Mark quickly blurted every question that came into his mind.

"I did pull the plug but her heart continued beating." Derek told him. "She's not awake yet, it's been 7 hours since we turned it all off but she'll wake up eventually, I know she will. I need that binder before she does."

"Okay, I'll go find it and I'll be one the first flight out." Mark promised.

"Thank you." Derek sighed in relief. "But we are never talking about…what you two did, okay? No comments on her skills, no comment on her rack or anything for that matter."

"Derek, you don't know how thrilled I am that you are still talking to me. I wouldn't fuck it up by bringing that up."

* * *

Mark walked confidently into the hospital room where his best friend was sitting in a chair beside his wife. "Hey!" he exclaimed enthusiastically and handed over the black binder. "You didn't tell me not to read it, by the way. So I got bored on the plane and read it. You were right, that thing is disgustingly detailed."

"I didn't expect to see you here at 2 in the morning." Derek replied as she started flipping through the pages.

"I came here straight from the airport." Mark answered. "I considered hiring a private body guard to protect me because apparently, this city isn't as safe as they make you think it is." He joked. "She's not up yet?" he asked with disappointment.

"No. But the tests show that her brain function is normal, her EKG was normal so there is nothing to worry about." Derek answered.

"You look exhausted, Derek. Why don't you go take a shower at your place, get something to eat, drink coffee…just get away from here for a few hours. Richard says you've barely left this room. You need some time to yourself. I'll stay with her, she won't be alone." Mark told him. "She'll still be here when you get back." He added jokingly.

Derek shook his head without even taking the offer into consideration. "I've left her too many times to make the same mistake again." He answered earnestly.

"You sound very cheesy and love-sick." Mark said dryly. "I never thought I'd see the day where Derek admitted his mistakes and didn't run from his problems."

"Yeah, well…I've changed a lot in the last two months." Derek replied.

* * *

There are no words to explain the thrill Derek felt when he noticed her eyes crack open. She blicked a few times to adjust to the light and looked at him in confusion.

"Addison!" Derek exclaimed as if he were a little child who had seen Santa coming down a chimney. "You're awaking, you're actually awake." he said enthusiastically. "Sorry, I'm talking too loud, you've been out of it for two months and you wake up and here I am practically yelling."

"What happen?" she asked weakly. "Why am I here?"

"You don't remember?" he asked in slight concern. She shook her head in response. "I don't know how to tell you this, honey but…" he paused for a breath. "You were mugged. You were in pretty bad shape. You went into a coma."

"How long have a been in a coma?" she wondered, her voice still sounding incredibly tired.

Derek looked into her eyes for a few seconds before he could answer her. He wasn't sure if he'd ever get to see them again at one point. He gripped her hand gently and answered her with equal softness, "It's been two months."

"Two months." She repeated. "Why are you here? We're divorced, right? You are supposed to be in Seattle."

"We are in Seattle, honey, but we're not divorced. We never made it that far." He told her. "We were talking about it the day you got mugged but we never got to filing the papers."

"Oh." She breath out.

"Look, Addison, all I want is for you to be happy, okay? If you want a divorce, we can get a divorce. If that's what you need to be happy." He told her. "But I want to at least stick together during this so I can take care of you."

She shook her head as a tear slipped from her eyes. "I don't need anyone to take care of me. I'll be okay on my own."

"There has to be something I can do for you, Addison."

She looked into his eyes and thought for a few seconds before answering him. "You can file the divorce papers for me. Please?"

* * *

Mark walked out of the cafeteria carrying a try of food. He smiled when he saw Derek sitting at a table by himself with a few files in front of him. "Hey!" he exclaimed as he took a seat on the other side of the table. "Glad to see you finally got out of that room and got your mind off things with work."

"Addison woke up." He informed his best friend but his voice didn't sound so thrilled to deliver the news.

"That's great, Derek!" Mark smiled brightly before seeing Derek's not-so-happy expression. "Wait…why don't you look a little happier about this? I thought you would be thrilled. I thought you'd be happy enough to jump off of walls and scream it from rooftops."

"She wants to proceed with the divorce." He explained.

"Did you tell her how you feel about her?" Mark asked.

Derek shook his head. "I didn't even have a chance to. She woke up, I told her what happen to her. She thought we were divorced and when she found out that we weren't, she asked me to file so we could get it behind us."

Mark gave Derek a sympathetic sign. "I'm sorry, Derek." He offered. "Is there anything I can do?"

"You can come to Joe's with me tonight and you can encourage me to drink until I can't remember anything about her." He answered. "And we never mention the relationship again, okay?"

* * *

Addison looked up from her own chart to see Mark awkwardly standing in the doorway contemplating whether or not he should go in. Once he realized he had been spotted, he had no choice but to walk in.

"Hey, Mark. What are you doing here? Does Derek know you're here?" she asked him.

Mark nodded his head. "I've been here for two days now, he asked me to come out." He answered. "How are you feeling?"

She gave him a small smile before answering, "Better. At first I felt like I got run over by a truck, I could barely talk and the light was bothering me, I had a crazy headache for a while but now it's all gone."

"That's good, I guess."

"You guess?"

"Okay, this is awkward." He admitted. "I care about you, Addison, I do. At one point I may even have loved you. But it's nothing compared to Derek, okay? That's why I'm here. I need you to know that before you two do something stupid that you can't fix."

"What are you talking about?" she asked.

"Derek and I started talking again not long after you went into a coma, I've been kind of like his sounding board. He has lived out of this room since the night you were admitted into it. He did not leave your side for more than an hour a day and that was only for a quick shower and to get something to eat from a vending machine. He gave you sponge baths, he ordered flowers every two days or so because he knew you'd want to wake up and see it, he held your hand like it was a lifeline and he cried enough to fill up the Hoover dam. "

"He sat there the whole time?" her voice softened as she pictured Derek sitting on the now vacant chair beside her bed.

"He says he would talk to you too. He says that was weird for him because he would always tell the family of comatose patients that they can't hear anything but he says it's different when it's your own wife you're trying to get through to." Mark informed Addison. "He was hoping you at least her some of what he said. All the nurses say he was saying the most romantic things to you."

"What happen to his girlfriend?"

"He told me he broke things off with her after he saw you that night. He says it made him understand how wrong he was for hurting you so much. He even used the quote "you don't know what you've got until it's gone."

"He just wants to be a good guy, Mark. I don't want him to be miserable just because he needs to be the good guy. He deserves more."

Mark groan and made an exaggerated motion with her arms that had no specific meaning, it was just a release of frustration. "He is going to be miserable if you don't give him the chance." He promised. "I'm not forcing you change your mind, Addison. I just thought you should know before you guys file for divorce. "

* * *

"I keep getting paged to your room." Derek said as he walked into the room doing his best to keep his personal feelings for her out of the way. "Is there something you needed?"

"Mark was here earlier."

"Okay." He replied with a nod and a gesture to encourage her to go on.

"He told me that you broke up with Meredith almost immediately after my…incident. And you've spend almost every single hour of every single day sitting by my side. And he says you would talk to me. Why didn't you say anything?" she asked.

He shrugged his shoulders. "What difference does it make? You obviously didn't hear a word I said." He replied.

"It does make a difference; it makes a very big difference, Derek. " She exclaimed. "I thought those were dreams. I can't remember much of what you said, I thought all of it was a dream…but now I realize that I can't dream if I'm pretty much brain dead."

"You heard what I said?"

"I don't know. I thought it was a dream, I don't remember any of it. I just remember hearing your voice, I don't know if that was actually you or if that was my mind playing tricks on me."

Derek sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, it was his nervous habit. "I said a lot that I wish you could have heard, that you would remember forever." He mumbled then looked her sheepishly when he realized she heard. "I'm sorry. I've become very cheesy over the last few weeks."

She looked into his eyes and asked, "So when you said you didn't want to file for divorce, you said that because you genuinely want to stay married to me? You're not trying to be the good guy who wants to take care of his wife after she was brutally attacked; you really want to stay with me because you love me."

He nodded his head. "When I first saw you after the attack I felt like someone was tearing my heart out with their bare hands. And once realized you were pretty much dead for all intents and purposes, I felt like a part of me was missing. It's hard to explain but that's love, that's real love. Do you know how hard it is to stare at someone every day and know that you may never get them back?"

She remained silent for a few seconds but then slowly nodded. "That's how I felt since I got to Seattle."

"I'm sorry about that, Addison. I am. I don't expect you to forgive me but I want you to know that I am." He told her. "I don't want to make the same mistake again, I don't want to give up on us. If you can survive two months of coma and I can go two months without killing myself over it, than we can get over anything."

"Yeah, you're right." She agreed with a small smile.

"This wasn't part of the plan." Derek mumbled. "We didn't do anything of this the way we had planned it but I guess you were right. We are Derek and Addison and we can get through anything."

"The Plan." Addison chuckled as she repeated his words. "You still remember that?"

"Of course I do!" he replied as he took the binder out of the drawer in her bedside table. "It's right here. I read the whole thing, every single page. I ask Mark to find it and bring it here with him, I was hoping we had a plan for this situation…turns out neither one of expected you to go into a coma when we got married."

She held her hand out, wordlessly asking for him to hand over the binder. She set it down on her lap and slowly skimmed through the first few pages before looking back up at him. "If only everything really did work out this well."

"Well, consider this, that was written like 13 years ago. A lot has changed. Just because that plan didn't work doesn't mean or relationship isn't working."

Her smile grew larger as she patted her bed so he could sit with her. He obliged without hesitation. "You're right. We just need a new plan…and you know how much I enjoy planning."

"Maybe we can stop planning everything and just let it happen." He suggested as he leaned in and kissed her softly. "If we don't plan than we don't worry about staying on track or falling behind."

"So it would be just you and me going where ever life takes us?" she asked with the slightest bit of skepticism. After a short pause she added, "…Without a plan?"

"No plans. We go where life takes us." He allowed a cheesy grin to work its way onto his face then added, "And it won't matter because you and I are going to make it work together."

The End

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Congrats guys, you officially convinced me to add this chapter. I hope you guys like it.

I'm hoping to think of an interesting non-cliché idea for a chaptered fanfic to work on once the semester is over. We'll see how it goes, if you've got an idea you're too lazy to use for yourself, let me know. Thanks.


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